经典笑话大全-冷笑话集锦-幽默笑话「安利爆笑笑话库」

首页 >  爆笑笑话 / 正文

「爆笑英语短笑话」简单的英语小笑话(带翻译)

admin 2020-10-18 爆笑笑话

简单的英语小笑话(带翻译)

1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。  2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩:我可以给你买杯饮料吗? 女孩:你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!  Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字。布朗夫人:哦, 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.   ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.  ″Makes no difference ″replied customer.   ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.  ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢?” “您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。” 5、A  physics Examination,Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?   Nick‘s answer: Because  our eyes are before ears.   一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。  6、Jim’s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him  things that happened before the poor boy was born.   吉姆的历史考试。舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?母亲:唉,糟透了。可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。嗨,他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。 7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.   他真是一个大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。扩展资料:笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。人类历史上,人自从有了语言,就已经出现了开玩笑的语言,最早,人们以口相传,后来有了文字,许多笑话便被记载下来,编书成册。但还有很多笑话,是流传于民间的,就当今社会,每天都有很多笑话出现,有心人如果收集,我想将来一定会有价值。同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展,随之出现了网络笑话,网络流行语,给力大全,手机笑话,雷人语句,笑料联盟等,促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。参考资料:百度百科:笑话

急需:英语小笑话,简单短小,而且超级爆笑!谢了。

1.Is it a boy or a girl A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother. 翻译:是男孩还是女孩? A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩? B:是个女孩。她是我的女儿。 A:哦,对不起,先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。 B:我不是。我是她的妈妈。 2.Pretty ugly Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter? Peter: I think you're pretty ugly.. 翻译:非常丑陋的 玛丽:约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样,彼得? 彼得:我觉得你很丑。 3.Silent fart A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem. "Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?" The doctor replies: "The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing." 翻译:沉默的屁:沉默的屁 一个人走进医生的办公室,遇到了一个严重的问题。 “医生,我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里,工作,甚至在教堂,我放出无数的无声屁,无论我走到哪里!事实上,我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办?” 医生回答说: “我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。” 3.Pay tax with a smile A: I hate paying my income tax. B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? A: I'd like to but they insist on money! 翻译:A:我讨厌付所得税。 B:你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢? A:我很愿意,但是他们坚持要钱! 4.Take his place An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. "So, what is it?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place." Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker." 翻译:代替他:取代他的位置 午夜过后,一位律师打电话给州长,坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。 “那么,这是什么呢?”州长抱怨道。 “Garber法官刚刚去世,”律师说,“我想接替他的位置。” 州长回答说:“好吧,如果殡仪馆还好的话,我就可以了。” 5.I'm Sick One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital. Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you. Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick. 翻译:我生病了 一天,哈米德感到很不舒服,他去了医院。 护士:哈米德,医生来见你。 哈米德:告诉他,我看不见他。我病了。 向姑姑道歉 爸爸:“儿子,你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻?”去跟她说声对不起。” 儿子:(走到姨妈跟前)“阿姨,对不起你是个笨蛋。” 6.Say sorry to aunt Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her." Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid." 6.Undying love Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes, dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, mine is undying love. 翻译:永恒的爱:永恒的爱 女孩:你爱我吗? 男孩:是的,亲爱的。 女孩:你愿意为我而死吗? 男孩:不,我的爱是永恒的 扩展资料: look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受 young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年 short hair短头发 blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子,牛仔裤 do you你愿意吗 fart<讳>放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人 walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走,步行,散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行 'vehave 的缩略形式 At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通 and even乃至

简单爆笑的英文小笑话(要翻译的)

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,  and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!” “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。 “没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?” “我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。” The poor husband "You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. 可怜的丈夫 “你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿? 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?” 哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。” Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?" 狗也知道这个谚语吗? 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 “没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?" 能让我们的老师回去吗? 有一次,一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹,因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人,把他带进另一间教室,并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后,一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来,问道,“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢?” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 谁更有礼貌? 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。 三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。 母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀? 牙科医生:是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了 A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道. One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。 One day an old lady went to see her doctor, the doctor ask "how old are you?" The old lady think for a while and she said" when i was marry i was 18 and my husband is thirty Five. Now my husband is seventy years old it is twice of thirty five, so i am 36 years old."... 一天一位老太太去看医生,医生问:“女士,您多大岁数了?”然后老太太想了一会说:“我结婚那年我18岁,我老公35岁,现在他70岁了,是35的两倍,所以我应该是36岁”。。。。。。。。。。 TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。" Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today. Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night. 医生:听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。 病人:应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。

英文短笑话

1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。Teacher: who just threw that?!老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩:我!我现在要回家了。2、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?A needle.针。5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子:那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫:开个玩笑!6、Boy: Is this seat empty?男孩:这个座位是空的么?Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 7、My little dog can't read 我的狗不识字Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 8、My Wife Will Exchange Them反正我太太明天会来换的A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。″Makes no difference ″replied customer.“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。″Any″ he responded.“什么颜色都成。”他回答。″Size﹖″“号码呢?”″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ “您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”

英语小笑话,越短越好,带翻译

1、Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛)them! 斯丹:我赢了 92 条金鱼。 弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们? 斯丹:浴室。 弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办? 斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛! 2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!" 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子:“为什么?” 约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” 3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! 精神病医师:你哪里不舒服? 病人:我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的? 病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?" 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前,说道:“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?” 5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿 An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir." 一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路,他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民:“劳驾,您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗?” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他,然后说道:“你现在在你的车子里,先生。” 6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上 A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back." "But ,officer, I …." "I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!" A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back." "Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom." 大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道,“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”,警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱,直到长官回来。“但是,警察,我,,,”。“我说过了保持安静,你要到监狱了。”几小时后,警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好,因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。 7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒 Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father. 父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。 8、TwoBirds 两只鸟 Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow. 老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。老师:请说说看。学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

英语小笑话(带翻译)短些

1、Warning  Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him.I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming.When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?" I teased."Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?" 提醒我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生,开学几个星期之后,我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话,“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时,他的房间凌乱不堪,我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来,是吧?”我取笑他。 “开什么玩笑?“,他回答说,“要不我凭什么费神打扫?” 2、Ground RulesOne of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor.Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring,so I don‘t mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they‘re still running." 基本原则位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师,他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时,他说:“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味,了无生趣,所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”3、After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV,"Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?"After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。”4、Young hopeful:“Father,what is a traitor in politics,Father(aveteranpolitician):“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.”Young hopeful:“Well then,what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?” Father:“A convert,my son.”有希望的青年人:“父亲,什么叫政治叛徒?” 父亲(一位老资格的政治家):“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人。”有希望的青年人:“那么,离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢?” 父亲:“叫改变信仰者。我的儿子。”5、I do not know the reason why some people want to get up late. They will never have the opportunity to enjoy (of enjoying) the fresh air and calmness of the morning.This is indeed a quite regrettable thing.To rise early is a good habit (which) we should cultivate. Why? Because the best time when we can pursue our studies is in the morning.In addition, early rising is also good to our health. I hope that everybody our knows the reason why we must rise early.我不知道某些人要晚起的理由。他们永不会有机会来享受早晨的新鲜空气和宁静。这真是一件 发令人遗憾的事情。早起是我们应该养成的一种良好习惯。为什么?因为早晨是我们从事学业的大好时间。再者,早起对我们健康也有益处。我希望每个人应该知道我们必须早起的理由。

短的,非常好笑的英语笑话,带翻译

The Perfect Son. A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn't. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 完美儿子 A:我有一个很完美的儿子. B:他抽烟吗? A:不抽. B:他喝威士忌酒吗? A:不喝. B:他会不会很晚回家? A:不会. B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了? A:下个星期三就满6个月了. Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " .鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。” Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员, 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman." "Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?" "They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once. "Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.". 迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。 孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说:“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块。不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。” 迪克问:“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?” 他姨妈马上回答说:“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。” 迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说:“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。” I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。” “是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。” The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

幽默英语小笑话...

1. Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV. Mum:There is no electricity tonight. Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on. 迈克:妈妈,我想看电视。 妈妈:今晚停电了。 迈克:那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。 2.The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。 3. Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” 4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” 5. A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道:“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?” 6. He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。 7. Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。” 8.my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人:哦, 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 9. Bring me the winner —- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员, 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。 10. Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年轻者” 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话, 千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”

求简单爆笑的英文笑话,带翻译!

汤姆是个年轻人。他有一只很大的狗,还有一辆很小的车。他喜欢打网球。今天他在俱乐部打了两个小时的网球,然后他想顺便回家车,他的狗跟着他,但它不跳进去车,它跳到下一辆车上。“过来,傻狗!”汤姆冲它喊叫,但那条狗还在后面汽车,汤姆把钥匙插进车锁里,但钥匙没有转身。然后他看着车又来了。它不是他的车!他开错车了!狗在红色的车里! Tom is a young man, he has a very big dog and he has a very small car too.He likes playing tennis .Today he plays tennis For two hours at the club and then he wants to go to home by car.His dog comes after him, but it does not jump into the Same car.It's jumps into the next car."Come here,foolish dog !"Tom shouts at it,But the dog still stays in the next car.Tom puts his key into the lock of the car,But the key does not turn.Then he looks at the car again.It is not his car!He is in the wrong car!And the dog is in the right car! 望采纳,谢谢。

非常搞笑的英语笑话(带翻译)

英文原文: A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 中文翻译: 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。”

推荐您阅读更多有关于“ ”的文章

热门浏览
热门标签
笑话大全幽默短信短信老婆糗事幽默开心吐槽做饭凉意笑话故事小明幽默笑话女友夫妻有个今天2017二货女人笑果是个大全总结报告阿兵英语四级女的成人爆逗这些冷段段儿作战好东西才能日子
时时彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://sports.sina.com.cn/l/rule/cqssc/ 时时彩【复制打开wazq.cn】:https://sports.sohu.com/s2007/shishicaikaijiang/ 时时彩【复制打开foqu.net】:http://news.sina.com.cn/c/2017-04-28/doc-ifyetxec6950966.shtml 时时彩平台【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://it.sohu.com/20110822/n316972019.shtml 时时彩平台【复制打开wazq.cn】:https://sports.qq.com/a/20110318/000481.htm 时时彩平台【复制打开foqu.net】:https://tech.ifeng.com/c/404 时时彩计划【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://www.sohu.com/a/161720571_499963 时时彩计划【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://sports.163.com/14/1126/11/ABVMD44J00050GAI.html 重庆时时彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/91144429?utm_source=wechat_session 重庆时时彩【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://sports.sina.com.cn/l/rule/cqssc/ 重庆时时彩【复制打开foqu.net】:https://www.douban.com/note/765294995 腾讯分分彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/62584779 腾讯分分彩【复制打开wazq.cn】:https://www.huxiu.com/article/275288.html?rec=manual 腾讯分分彩计划【复制打开foqu.net】:http://www.chinanews.com/sh/2019/08-28/8940623.shtml 腾讯分分彩计划【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://finance.sina.com.cn/stock/hkstock/ggscyd/2018-06-04/doc-ihcmurvh4261594.shtml 北京赛车【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://www.163.com/special/0077sp/hp_test0905.html 北京赛车【复制打开wazq.cn】:https://sports.qq.com/a/20180122/025724.htm 北京赛车【复制打开foqu.net】:http://news.xmnn.cn/xmnn/2018/06/15/100379120.shtml 北京赛车pk10【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://news.hexun.com/2019-07-05/197747593.html 北京赛车pk10【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://www.xinhuanet.com/fortune/2018-07/15/c_1123127067.htm 北京pk10【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://www.163.com/special/0077sp/hp_test0905.html 北京pk10【复制打开wazq.cn】:https://news.hexun.com/2019-07-05/197747593.html pk10【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://caipiao.sohu.com/lotto/bjpk10/ pk10【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://www.jcrb.com/xmtpd/index.html pk10【复制打开foqu.net】:http://finance.sina.com.cn/realstock/company/sz002089/nc.shtml 幸运飞艇【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://news.sina.com.cn/s/2018-04-20/doc-ifznefkf8967286.shtml 幸运飞艇【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://auto.eastday.com/a/180618173654171.html 幸运飞艇【复制打开foqu.net】:http://www.huaxia.com/zhwh/yd/2019/04/6085649.html 快三【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://finance.ifeng.com/c/7vGZVJtw9Vb 快三【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://jr.dahe.cn/2015/12-16/106164616.html 快三【复制打开foqu.net】:http://news.sina.com.cn/ts/2020-05-08/doc-iircuyvi2019318.shtml 幸运快三【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://finance.china.com.cn/roll/20160325/3646889.shtml 幸运快三【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://jr.dahe.cn/html/licai/licaianli/201305/21-86239.html 河内五分彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://sd.ifeng.com/a/20180724/6749848_0.shtml 河内五分彩【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://finance.sina.com.cn/roll/20060122/0924521869.shtml 河内五分彩【复制打开foqu.net】:https://www.sina.com.cn/head/www20041202am.shtml 澳门葡京娱乐【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://tech.qq.com/a/20160718/010690.htm 澳门葡京娱乐【复制打开wazq.cn】:http://www.chinanews.com/ga/2016/01-23/7729245.shtml 澳门葡京娱乐【复制打开foqu.net】:http://news.sina.com.cn/c/2007-02-12/103011224117s.shtml 威尼斯人【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://nb.ifeng.com/a/20171106/6123446_0.shtml 威尼斯人【复制打开foqu.net】:http://mil.news.sina.com.cn/2018-07-23/doc-ihftenhy6483376.shtml 大发快三【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://sc.cnr.cn/sc/2014fz/20170802/t20170802_523880967.shtml 大发快三【复制打开wazq.cn】:https://www.sina.com.cn/head/www20040414am.shtml 大发快三【复制打开foqu.net】:http://jiaju.sina.com.cn/news/20180209/6367183915182260661.shtml ag视讯【复制打开ymmj.net】:https://tech.qq.com/a/20150516/015441.htm ag视讯【复制打开foqu.net】:http://world.people.com.cn/n1/2019/0922/c1002-31365965.html 北京时时彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://liuyan.people.com.cn/threads/content?tid=5792312 天津时时彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://www.5j5k.com/showinfo-3-167020-0.html 江苏时时彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://news.sina.com.cn/o/2017-11-14/doc-ifynsait8075466.shtml 江苏时时彩【复制打开ymmj.net】:http://news.jschina.com.cn/society/201704/t20170402_304744.shtml